In My Mind My Dreams Are Real
This blog will be filled with ramblings about random things and my interests which include;
Movies, fanfiction, gaming, reading, celebrity stalking.
*Side note* I am a (recovering) self harmer, so this blog may contain triggering photos.
The other night I was Skyping with one of my best friends. She lives in Holland and I live in America, so we don’t get to talk often. I trust her so much, and every time we talk I just feel so loved. She’s amazing.
I was talking to her about cutting, and started telling her about how I sometimes take pictures of my self-harm instead of writing about it, or in addition to writing about it. I don’t normally show people the pictures, but I sent her a few. She had been sharing her screen with me because I’d been watching her draw something, so I saw when she opened the files.
She opened this picture, kept it on the screen for a few seconds, closed it, and opened it again in Photoshop. I watched, confused, thinking it had been an accident.
I watched quietly while she erased every line of blood, every scar, every cut from my body. I started recording the screen without thinking- I needed to be able to watch it again. I knew I would need to feel that sense of… relief. That there was someone in my life who knew the extent of me and could still see through to something beautiful.
I wanted to share this with you because I think it’s important. If you feel anything close to how I felt when I saw this, I’m happy. Because you should know that it’s possible to be loved, underneath the pain and the scars and the blood. We are all beautiful.
You’re beautiful, and above all, you are not alone.
81,790 notes (via toohelpsavealife & secretdiaryofacutter)
I should put this over my desk.
I want to, but
(Source: ionsfolly)
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I’m used to it. I’m used to being cancelled on. I’m used to being left out. I’m used to being the second option. I’m used to being forgotten about. I’m used to being ignored. I’m used to getting the blame. It’s ok. So don’t feel bad if you do any of these things to me. I’ve learned to keep my expectations low, just so none of these things would matter.
(Source: willest)
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Scars
See this, i got it falling off a bike
And this one, from three mile hike
This one, it hurt like I hadn’t believed
And that one, I didn’t even know I received
Oh and this one, it was kind of a bore
But that one, that one was fun galore.
Oh dear, the one on my palm?
A paper cut, while reading a psalm
If you look really close, right at my lip
you’ll notice a faint one, that ends right at the tip
And one on my wrist, umm that one is sad
But don’t worry, I’m no longer that bad
The worst? The worst one you ask?
Well to see it, get your saw, and an axe
Hack through my skin, set the ribs aside
Now hold open the whole, and hold it wide
See that? that’s my heart
Its been beaten up, cut out and shared
but mostly now , its just really scared
don’t worry, no need move gently
Why? HA, you could hit it with a Bentley
It’s a tough little muscle, its been tested before
OUCH! Ok fine, so it’s a little sore
But what else do you expect, from a organ so abused
Tossed about, thrown out, and generally used
Alright you can just put it back
What?! You want it?… I’ve never heard that
Well alright,
I suppose you can have it
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